


Putting James Bond to Shame

by Slytherin_Paramour



Category: Doctor Who, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Diana Holmes is an OC for BBC Sherlock, I blame Twitter, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, Just ficlets, Multi, Seriously all those RPS, She is my OC, There is no order to this fic, Twitter, Twitter RPs make these things possible character wise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-02-10 17:58:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2034612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slytherin_Paramour/pseuds/Slytherin_Paramour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherrinford is with MI6  but actually working for Jim Moriarty. Diana is with MI6 but not really she's just Mycroft's top agent. Mycroft is trying to make sure his siblings don't all die in some horrendous way. Sherlock is running around occasionally high while solving cases. </p><p>Ficlets about the Holmes siblings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tea Negotiations

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ottersandhedgehogs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ottersandhedgehogs/gifts).



> Disclaimer: Diana Holmes is my OC and that's all I own. Her face claim is Karen Gillan. Otherwise yeah nothing is mine. Tom Hiddleston is Sherry's face claim. I couldn't resist putting in pics of them.
> 
> This obviously for Mills because of her revamp of Sherry. I curse and thank you for this inspiration. I hope you enjoy!

        

~~~

The hotel ballroom was classy. The decorations tolerable and not over the top. A good place for them to have tea and discuss their bosses. The ginger woman simply straightened her coat and shouldered her Louis Vuitton bag as she made her way over to the dark haired man already waiting at a table for her. A complete tea set was artfully arranged at their spacious table and there weren't any people remotely near to their table. He had done a good job with this meeting place. 

She arrived at their table and set down her bag before leaning over and exchanging air kisses with him. 

"Oh Sherry, it's lovely to see you again." She murmured and took a seat across from her twin brother.

"A pleasure as always sister mine. Did you bring the folders that were requested?" Sherrinford asked as he pulled a couple folders out of his briefcase that was resting in an otherwise empty chair. She nodded and reached into her designer bag for her own folders. After they were on the table she shrugged off her coat and settled more comfortably in her seat. 

"Of course but first tea. Which ones did you order?"

"Black tea and that peppermint brew you're oh so fond of." 

"Fantastic." She poured them each a cup of the peppermint brew and quickly added the necessary sugar to each one. She slid his over and then leant back in her seat cradling her cup. She once again took in the ballroom where they had decided to meet. It was quite an ordinary room and yet she could pick out interesting things from her surroundings. The little things that her family always picked up on. After all deductions were second nature to the Holmes family.

"Jim wasn't too sure of sending me here for this. He rather liked the idea of you having a tea date with dear ole Sebastian. While the man is quite good at handling situations pertaining to his job, his social skills are not quite that good. You two would either hit it off right away or end up hitting each other right away. I didn't really like those odds so here I am." The words left her brother's mouth and she could see the not quite there frown. It was far too amusing for her not to laugh.

"Have you so little faith in me?" She teased and got an eye roll for her trouble.

"Not enough to trust you with Sebastian. You are better suited reporting to Mycroft than to Jim. You don't get as many bloody assignments that would ruin those designer dresses and shoes and you can take breaks whenever you please if you whine enough."

"Your mind opinion of me is quite saddening but I'm going to ignore it anyway. So, this exchange of information, how much damage control am I going to have to arrange?"

"You'll need a team to help you. The scandal that will likely arise will not easily be put down. Irene is as always a part of it. This would be bigger than that time with Sherlock and the plane of bodies."

She nodded and looked down at the neat folders that Anthea and Renata had prepared for her. The information within them would compromise national security quite easily but when one was negotiating with Jim Moriarty obviously it had to be interesting. The man couldn't be allowed to become bored. It would be a terrible thing all around.

"Well with that in mind this situation suddenly becomes a whole lot more interesting. I've looked through these folders and Jim would have quite the field day with everything in here. Obviously I have to hand them over in exchange but I am quite reluctant at this point. The repercussions of that incident are still being taken care of and I've been sent on more smoothing over assignments than I would like. There are only so many times I would like to soothe some 'powerful' politician's mind. That being said I would ask that you try and be sensible when your boss starts plotting his next game. The less trouble it causes the British government the less I have to worry."

"I can make you no promises but I will do my best to be sensible around him."

"Lovely. Here are the folders and do remember that you are not getting out of the family dinner next week. You will be there even if I have to hunt you down and tie you to a chair." She pushed the folders over with one hand and sipped her tea. He placed his newly acquired folders in his briefcase and snapped it shut. Her own set of folders were set inside in her bag for her while she continued drinking her tea.

 "I have a job to do. I might not get the opportunity to return in time for that DiDi."

"You will be there even if I have to hunt you down and tie you to a chair Sherry."


	2. Family Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another ficlet. I'm on a roll. Woo. 
> 
> Hopefully this helps with the headache my friend.
> 
> Enjoy!

~~~

It was Friday night and the tension in the house could be cut with a knife. Dinner wasn't even ready yet but the twins were already glaring at their older brothers. The elders were returning the glares and trying to look scary. That hadn't worked since they were kids and everyone knew that. Such a wasted effort that was.

"I'm not going back in there. Mummy is a right terror when she's making dinner. I may be the only girl but that does not mean I want to go on kitchen duty. So suck it up Sherlock and go do it." Diana said in her most commanding tone. If it had been anyone else it would've certainly worked but like the trying-to-look-scary effort of the elders it was a wasted effort. The ginger hardly ever got her way with her brothers by being demanding. Especially with Sherlock who was more likely to do her bidding if she pouted than if she demanded. 

"No. I already refused so Mycroft can do it." Sherlock sounded absolutely petulant as he turned to glare at the eldest of the four. The British Government simply made a face and shook his head. As one the three turned to the remaining Holmes and Sherrinford's eyes widened before he started backing away from his siblings. He shook his head and kept backing away from them slowly with his hands in the air. Propriety forgotten Sherlock and Diana exchanged a quick look before pouncing and tackling him to the ground.

"You're on kitchen duty brother dear." Mycroft drawled from his spot a few feet away from the pile of Holmes. Sherry groaned defeated.

~~~

After Sherrinford had been allowed to leave the room to help Mummy, dinner had been quickly finished and the table set to accommodate the family of six. The food was delicious as always and the Holmes parents were as always painfully cheery. It made the Holmes siblings want to get high (Sherlock), sneak off to a bakery for another session of binge eating that would ruin another diet (Mycroft), curl up with more scotch than an entire army could consume and maybe a good book (Sherrinford), and find another illegal race track to test out the newly acquired Ferrari and it's alleged HP (Diana). However seeing as none of that would be possible they simply tried to finish their dinners quickly so they could move on to the drinks that followed afterwards so they could go their separate ways.

"Mikey darling, Diana tells me that you found a lovely young woman." Mummy said as she served them all slices of tiramisu. Mycroft who had been finishing up his steak choked and Sherrinford patted his back a bit harder than strictly necessary. 

"She's lovely Mummy. Her name is Renata and she loves shopping." Diana added helpfully. Their mother's eyes lit up at the word shopping and Mycroft turned to glare at his sister. 

"Your body will never be found." He threatened and the ginger merely grinned.

~~~

They had managed to get through dessert without much more incident after the whole Renata mention and were now onto the drinks part of the dinner. They lounged around the room sharing idle conversation when an argument broke out between Sherlock and Mycroft.

"I don't need you spying on me when I have important things going on!"

"I hardly consider getting high an important thing Sherlock. Do get your priorities in order."

"My priorities? Well at least I don't get hung up on a woman who isn't interested and can easily get anyone she wants."

"Do not bring Renata into this. It hardly matters. You just don't like the fact that I know what you're doing."

"Clever. It's like you read my mind. Get rid of the cameras or I'll get rid of them for you."

"Do go ahead. I'll simply have more put in when you're out. It's no trouble at all."

Sherlock huffs and simply downs his glass of scotch.

"Pay up Diana." Sherrinford mutters and his twin reaches into her pocket annoyed.

~~~

After saying their farewells to their parents and making promises to come by some time soon (They would avoid keeping them for as long as they could) they all piled into Mycroft's black car. Sherlock sulked in a corner while the other three relaxed against the seats. The car was silent apart from their breathing. They arrived at 221B fairly quickly and waved off the annoyed detective before the car got back into motion again. Heading for the other side of town they began to talk again.

"You just had to bring up Renata didn't you." Mycroft said and it was a statement despite the phrasing. 

"Well, I had to get my revenge somehow. You think I like doing your bidding all the time? Please I'm actually considering sending my resume to Jim Moriarty. Maybe I can be his PA or something. You'd give me a sparkling reference wouldn't you Sherry?" Diana tilted her head in her twin's direction. His amusement was clear as day in his eyes. 

"A sparkling reference? Sure but you have to go on kitchen duty next time." 

Diana rolled her eyes and considered how ruined her outfit would be if she jumped out of the car and rolled to safety. It wasn't really worth it and she happened to really like this skirt.

"I hate you both." She muttered.

"Feelings mutual sister dear." Was Mycroft always so annoying?

"I love you both." Scratch that, Mycroft she could tolerate but Sherrinford? She wanted to throw one of his precious books at his head. Maybe then he would be a little less annoying. 

~~~

Thus another family dinner was successfully survived.

 

 

 


	3. The Time They Worked Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one horrible time the Holmes all worked together in other words the time they spent saving Sherlock in Siberia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because you said Sherry had to do with it Mills.

~~~

"He's done quite a good job taking apart the web. Your boss would be proud Sherry darling." Diana murmured without looking up from the files spread across Mycroft's desk. Her twin grunted in response and she simply hummed back at him.

"Sherlock may have been doing well with destroying the web but he's careless. For someone who claims to be smarter than everyone he meets he is far too predictable. He missed his check in last week. If we don't receive anything by tonight-"

"An extraction mission will be put into action." Sherrinford finished for Mycroft. The eldest nodded and leant back in his seat.

"We knew this was coming. It's Sherlock we're talking about. I mean not really accepting our help is one thing. Not accepting Sherrinford's either is a completely different thing. Sherlock went off on his own and now who knows what they're doing to him this moment. Most certainly he's been caught." The only woman in the office stood from her seat. She began to pace and fill the office with the soft clicking of her expensive heels. Her brothers watched her with thoughtful expressions.

"We need to track him down as soon as possible and then go get him ourselves. The web is more elaborate than it seems. MI6 will not do him any good. The web doesn't know that I've somewhat defected back so I'm easily the best for the job. " Sherrinford said calmly. It made perfect sense for him to be the one. The others would agree.

"That's not a good plan but the only one we've got. So I'll get in touch with my contacts and track him down as much as I can. I'll send word to you via Renata or Anthea. Then you two will handle the rest." Diana replied as she button up her coat. She grabbed her handbag and made for the door.

"Do not waste time sister dear." Mycroft called as the door shut behind her.

~~~

Diana had been gone for a week when Renata walked into the office where Sherrinford and Mycroft were planning for all possible situations. The black iPhone in her hand was crackling with noise on the other end. Noise that suspiciously sounded like gun fire. 

Mycroft took the phone and put it on speaker before setting it down on the desk. 

"IIt can't be traced or pinned anywhere nesr here. The call is safe. Anthea made sure of that before she gave me the phone." Renata assured and the men nodded before soeaking.

"Hello? Diana?"

A couple seconds went by with only noise on the other side before an exhausted voice came on the line. Their sister's voice was laced with a different accent. Siberian.

"Finally got into the same country as him. Not too warm a welcome here. It's Siberia as you can probably tell. Known terrorist group is holding him hostage. Word has it he's been tortured. Nothing too extreme just beatings mainly. We won't be needing to buy him new fingers or anything."

"How close are you? Could you begin to infiltrate the place?" Sherrinford asked as soon as she finished. She was panting quietly  while the noises in the background got louder.

"I'm just outside the base. I won't be able to infiltrate as women aren't welcome. It took a lot of flirting and empty promises to get this far. I'll send all available info in a bit and you two will have to get him out. I'll be waiting to be the getaway car. Now I have to go. I see grenades." An explosion could be heard just as the line went dead. A few seconds later the phone dinged with a new email. 

~~~

With all the information provided by their sister they quickly crafted a plan composed of some of the ones they had been making before the call. Sherrinford would get them in and Mycroft would get closer. Then they would break him out and call Diana. She could pilot the jet they'd arrive in back to London.

With all their necessities packed they boarded the jet and made for Siberia.

~~~

Knowledge of Sherrinford's defection was not common thankfully and they easily were accepted into the base. Sherrinford spent the morning playing nice and doing recon while Mycroft learned the language. 

Once the morning was over they had found their brother and were sitting in on his latest beating. It was not an enjoyable experience but they had to bid their time. 

Their moment came sooner than they expected and they unchained him once the torturer left to go confront his wife and her lover. Sherlock was far thinner than before he left and his hair was a nest that even Diana couldn’t compete with on a bad hair day. Still they carried out to the jet waiting just beyond the trees.

~~~

After their sister had punched Sherlock in the face for being stupid enough to get caught and then pulling him into a tight hug, they all strapped in and she flew the jet out of the icy country. The further they flew away the more the tension eased between them all.

~~~

After that incident they all decided that the four of them would not work together again unless something drastic happened. It had been too close a call. 


	4. Horrible Bosses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's quite simple. They like their jobs but their bosses? They could do better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another because today is a good day for ficlets.

~~~

For someone who should know how to handle situations like these Jim Moriarty was horrible at sitting quietly. Sebastian was watching their target from the attachment to his sniper rifle and therefore completely oblivious to his companions. Sherrinford on the otherhand was not since he was waiting for his signal. The problem was simple: Jim would not shut up.

 He was walking around and speaking rapidly about all kinds of things that Sherrinford wasn't even really listening to. Shouldn't the boss know better than to do this during this kind of assignment? Apparently not if you're Jim Moriarty. Because being bored meant coming along with his righthand men to on a simple assignment. 

"Remember the time with the bombs? Sherlock was absolutely losing it. It was so funny to watch. He dances unlike any other. I mean playing games with him is just entertaining. And then there's that sister of yours. She goes around modeling but doing MI6 work after hours. I wonder how she manages that? Must be hard. Ehh she's a Holmes so she must manage-" 

Maybe Sherrinford could ask Sebastian to borrow his rifle? His suit would be ruined from such a small distance but sacrifices could be made.

"Honestly though how do people not figure out she's more than just a model? I mean I know you all went to uni and got degrees and even doctorates that you don't use. Others must know as well-"

Sacrifices could be made. He could always buy a buy a new suit.

~~~

Sherlock was spinning an irate Diana around the ballroom dance floor of some political shindig. He wore a tuxedo tailored to fit perfectly and his sister wore a fitting black dress for the event. 

"Mycroft is the worst person ever and if I don't show up one day it's because I died. Blame him Sherlock." Her voice amused him endlessly. It was always the best way to tell how she felt because her smiles were Oscar worthy but her voice. It told the truth even her eyes could hide. 

"As long as you don't have to flirt with anymore old lecherous men you'll be fine." He reassured and she sighed before letting him spin her around. 

"I know but really couldn't he have made one of the other two do it? Renata and Anthea or beautiful too."

"Apparently these men wanted to meet the gorgeous Miss Holmes so there was no getting out of this." 

"I hate Mycroft." 

Sherlock simply chuckled in response. Better her than him. After all he knew their older brother was a horrible boss. It was the reason why he hardly ever took any work from him.


	5. Dealings With The PM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Prime Minister was not easily manipulated unless one was thin, ginger, green eyed, and manipulative. Cue Mycroft ordering Diana to seduce Prime Minister Saxon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mycroft getting headaches because of the Master? I just had to.

~~~

Mycroft sighed and reached for his glass of scotch. His PA's had already left and for once were not sticking around to pester him. Something that for once bothered him more than not. However that was not his most pressing problem. 

His problem was Saxon. Harold Saxon. The man had recently lost his blonde socialite wife and had continued on relatively well. The politics of the British government were still going the way they should be. Yet the man seemed to not be bothered. That was a problem. The people of Britain could not be allowed to entertain even an idea of a scandal for longer than a second. 

He could not outright suggest a new wife or something remotely like that. It would be too forward. Something subtle would have to be done. Maybe he would send Anthea or Renata to remedy the situation.

~~~

A ginger woman bundled in a coat and scarf that looked familiar started appearing in the papers with Saxon. The people of Britain saw the new beginning as a good omen.

~~~

{Txt} Seduce him Diana. MH

{Txt} Already on it brother mine. He's a great kisser by the way. ~DH

~~~

When it was officially announced that the PM was dating supermodel Diana Holmes, Mycroft smiled at the papers for once. 


	6. A Rencroft Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because you made me do it (you know exactly who you are) and to be honest I've been meaning to write this forever.

“You know Mycy, if you act like this more often people might actually think you care.” Diana said with a pleasant smile for the cameras. The long carpet went on for what seemed like miles and Mycroft was eagerly waiting for the end that seemed oh so far away. 

Why he had encouraged his sister to pursue stupid things like modeling he couldn’t tell you. All he knew was that at the time she had suggested it, well it had worked to his advantage but now? Now it was just god awful and he wanted her to quit so she couldn’t guilt him into attending these things with her. He much preferred when she acted like a bored socialite and spent his money with Renata. That he could deal with far more easily.

As if on cue.

“Anyway Mycy, how’s Ren? Anything you need to tell me?” The suggestive look in his sister’s green eyes was undeniable. 

“In public? Really Diana?”

She gave him a cheeky smile and then the endless carpet ended.

~~

“Before you ask about Renata again let me tell you that nothing out of the ordinary has happened. She teases me and I retaliate. That’s all. Can you go back to being more concerned about yourself now? I can’t stand it when you stop being self centered for more than a couple minutes.” 

“I am so completely offended by that. I care about you all the time. My god.”

Diana pouted the entire ride back to her flat. Mycroft enjoyed the silence.

~~

Getting work done at his office didn’t happen nearly as often as people thought. The reality was that he was constantly out and about from meeting to meeting dealing with others’ stupidity. Renata was always moving around dates and putting calls on permanent hold. How his sister expected him to have time to become enamored with Renata, well no.

Granted Renata was nothing short of beautiful. Granted Renata was also inhuman. 

“Sherlock sent you another cake. Do you want to eat it?” Renata said as she set down said cake. It hadn’t really been a question. More of a comment. More of a by the way kind of thing. It was always this way when his brother sent desserts. He’d eventually at least try them before getting rid of them.  
“Only if you force yourself to eat some as well.”

“Only for you.” She scooped up a bite of the chocolate cake and stuffed it in her mouth. The face she made was always worth it. 

Granted Renata was very charming in her own way.

“Your turn Fatcroft.”

He took that back.


End file.
